Sometimes I forget that unplanned pregnancy doesn’t just happen to young moms. Here is the story of Edie and Erin Schmidt, who remind us that those two tiny blue lines can change our lives at any age. Find more from Edie on her website here.
“Oh, look! Loooook!” I said, as I held up the tiniest pair of little gym shoes I’d ever seen. “Just like big brother’s!”
“No!” my husband said.
“Whyyyyyy?” I pleaded.
“You know why!” he said for the hundredth time. I’ve already had the surgery and I’m not having it reversed. Besides, we’re old.”
Our baby began with a wish in shoe store. My husband swears that I prayed that day, but I didn’t. However, I did wish very, very hard and then, I forgot about it.
We were at that store to buy gym shoes.
My twenty-year-old son, Josh had inspired and shamed us into gym memberships. So every morning at 5:30, we’d stumble out of bed, whine, complain and head off to the gym with him before work. At first it was miserable, then it was fun, and then I started using it to prepare for my day.
I was a radio host and show topics were never easy to come by. So as the clock counted down on the treadmill, I’d think about it, and those thoughts would naturally lead to prayer. One morning while I was on the treadmill praying, I had the strangest feeling that I needed to be working out much harder, because something was coming and I needed to be strong for it. The feeling persisted, and day after day I pushed myself. Sometimes I’d even work out twice a day. We changed the way we ate. We all lost some weight but it wasn’t my focus anymore. It was about strength and endurance. My daily treadmill prayer changed from preparation for the radio show to “God help me be strong for what lies ahead.”
“What in the world could be coming that would require me to be strong?” I wondered. I told the guys and a couple of friends about it. Everyone gave me the same look. I understood.
One morning while I was driving to work, I suddenly felt sick. Flu was my first thought, and then a second later I recognized the feeling. Even after twenty-one years, there was no mistaking that level of nausea. “No way!” I said aloud, “That would be impossible!” …But with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26 NKJV)
Let me just say that somewhere in the world, there is a vasectomy doctor who is not very good at what he does. I love him. And who really knows if he isn’t as skilled as he should be, or if our great God sabotaged his work. At the age of 45 for me and 57 for my husband, we saw those awesome, terrifying, wonderful, exciting, life-changing, tiny blue lines.
We were thrilled beyond words and scared half to death. My husband calculated how old he would be for every milestone in her life. My son, who had prayed many years for a sister while he was growing up, was afraid to be happy. “Good things like this never happen to us,” he said. And I, forgetting that God’s odds are greater, stayed awake at night researching the odds that she would actually be here, and that she would be healthy.
The weeks passed slowly. I was unbelievably sick and it was hard to keep up our usual routine. One morning on the treadmill, I started to pray the usual prayer. “Help me be strong for…” I suddenly stopped. I literally laughed out loud as I said to God, “This is it, right?” Our family had been inexplicably blessed with life. It all seemed surreal. But not everyone thought it was cause for celebration. I became apprehensive about sharing the news as people reacted in unpredictable ways. One woman drove thirty miles to come to my work and tell me that she had been “older” too, and had lost her baby at the same stage of development I was in. In fact, several women who had lost babies paid me a visit at work. One woman told me at the end of the visit that she had strep throat! A neighbor responded to the news with a wrinkled brow and an “Oh my! What are you going to doooo?” And my favorite for the moron-of-the-pregnancy award was a professional male whose first response was “Are you going to put it up for adoption?” Seriously?
I wanted to be happy. I wanted to laugh, to dance, to rejoice, but what if they were all right? I found myself being defensive, like I had to explain or justify a baby at our age. At last I couldn’t stand living in the grip of fear any longer. I went out on my lunch break and bought her a present, her first Nikes. I needed to see something in the house that belonged to her. I needed to show her that no matter what people were saying, I had faith that she would grow and make it home.
March 16, three weeks before her due date, we held her. Beautiful, perfect and so well-developed the doctors considered her full-term. Now, 19 months later, she is sleeping beside me while I write. And I can tell you for certain, it doesn’t matter that our house is too small, or that I gave up my career in broadcasting. It doesn’t matter that we’re older and that we get tired sooner than we wish we would. It doesn’t matter that her requirements seem limitless and our bank account hovers near empty. When she smiles, everything is perfect. It might be cliché, but unplanned does not mean unwanted. She has brought so much love into our unsuspecting lives.
Welcome home baby Erin.
This was SO cool to read! Wow! Just blown away.
Wow! “Unplanned doesn’t mean unwanted.” I love that line! SO true!!! What a terrific story!
Amazing story, thank you for sharing! We were 36 when we were “surprised” with a post reversal baby. We married after finding each other 20 years post jr high. We had both had marriages, and children from them, and were “done” and almost homefree with our youngest being 15.5. God had other plans! I’ve linked our story below.
https://justalittlemel.wordpress.com/2014/07/26/the-one-we-didnt-know-we-wanted/
Andrea (Belgium) says
I just want to let you know that every person feels at some point in their life that other people have comments on their life! If you’re too early a mom they will comment, if you wait to long to be a mom, they will comment. Because when I finally decided to give it a go, and I told people I was pregnant everybody said, finally! And I’m 28, the people from my birth country Serbia say I’m a too late becoming mom, the people in Belgium said you’re a young mom, 28 a young mom? haha! The world is funny! When I got married to my husband in 2012, I was 23 years old, that was young, he came from Serbia to live with me in Belgium, they all said in Belgium your life is over, that is too soon, he is sure with you only for the nationality. In Serbia they said, are you pregnant? Because getting married out of love (at 23) is weird? And I managed to finish my master married, and start also nursing school, and I have one year internship left ,I wanted to wait with a baby after the internship, but I didn’t want to become a first time mom in my 30’s, so I said let’s try if it is sooner, so good, if it is after the internship, also good.(My husband was very happy, because he was sooner ready: He had learned Dutch, found a permanent job and found us a house to buy as I wanted) Because mostly when you want a baby, when you plan for it, it doesn’t always come. I saw friends very disappointed, because finally they decided to have a baby, and it took them long…so trust me, I’m not an unplanned ( young )mom, but even we not unplanned (young) moms, get our share of comments and have the feeling that we always have to proof ourselves and explain our lives. So even if you have did lived your life a different way, you will always have had comments.. So just life your live by your values, and let other people speak… And the ones who give comments, are the ones who are the most unhappy with their lives and are jealous…
I really like the other testomonies of moms…I really enjoy my marriage, we really didn’t have had a real choice, if my husband wanted to live with my in Belgium, he had to get married with me, because Serbia is not in the EU. I thought our relationship would be done, but I was so happy when my husband decided to propose. I was scared too, because I was young, but sometimes you just have to have faith in God, everything happens for a reason. It wasn’t easy, but we have a lot of nice memories…we travelled a lot, the only reason we postponed children, was because I wasn’t ready. It took time for my husband to learn Dutch, and to get a job, and for me to get a job, and to find a nice place that we could afford to welcome a baby. And I really had to start nursing school, then I got more confident. But if a baby had came sooner, it would be great. But we bought our house, and than start trying for a baby, and thank God it went fast enough. But we are struggling financially, a new house, renovations, I still not have a permanent job contract. I teach orthodox christian religion, but there are not a lot of students, so sometimes I have a fulltime job, than the next week I have a parttime. So there will always be a reason to postpone pregnancy, and even at 28 you can still be studying and searching the right job for you…It doesn’t mean that when your older that you have your life totally figured out.
But I was like, ok 28 is the limit for me of becoming a first time mom. So whatever unrealized plans I have, I will realize them when the baby comes if I still want it. The most important things in life for me are my husband, our health, and our baby. If we three are healthy, the rest will come! And you just have to accept that sometimes life is to shirt to make all your dreams come true, but still you can keep trying to make as much dreams came true as possible…
So everybody know, your doing great your way! Enjoy your life as you want, and unexpected things come, even when they are expected they can still be overwhelming and life changing. Like this pregnancy for me is! As Mel I didn’t look forward to being pregnant because of the discomforts. I love being an independent active woman, but pregnancy especially at this third trimesters (last month) asks of you to ask help and to let others do almost everything…and I had my share of discomforts ( a lot of weight gain, pelvic instability, swollen legs, hands…) but still this experience made me stronger and made me now who I am, and led me to this blog, and to reading your amazing stories!
You all helped me through this! Thanks! You’re all amazing woman! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
And I hope my blog http://andrea-deya.blogspot.be can help other people too!
Andrea, I love your blog and what you’ve said — you’re so right, no matter what you do, someone will comment that you’re too young or too old. And how crazy we both went through unplanned pregnancies while studying to be a nurse! Thank you so much for sharing!! <3