You guys may have heard me mention The Happiest Mom a time or two. As in, Meagan Francis is so awesome! She changed my life! She’s from Michigan! She has five kids and created an incredible writing career from scratch!
Yes, I am a bit obsessed and yes, I stalk her a bit, but I can’t help it. I admire everything that she has done, from being a young mom, to being proud of her large family, to proving that it doesn’t matter where you live, you can still create a writing career that can support your family.
I even took Meagan’s writing class last year and it was the perfect way to jumpstart my career. She’s real, down-to-earth and I love her mothering philosophy-which I have adopted more and more, the more kids I add. (Coincidence? I think not.)
So you can imagine my excitement when I had the chance to guest post on The Happiest Mom site-yeeeess! I think the post is something you guys will really be able to relate to, if you’ve ever felt like you had something to “prove” as a young mom.
A few months ago, at the age of 26, I was heavily pregnant with my third child. Pushing my brood in the grocery store, diapers and cereal spilling out of my cart, I felt disapproving eyes turning on me down every aisle I clumsily navigated.
No! I wanted to shout. It’s not like that! I have an education! I’m a homeowner! I’m accomplishing things with my life, I swear!
There are days when I sit and count what I have accomplished with my life so far.
Ok, I’ve studied abroad in France. Traveling, check.
Grad school? Check. Well, half a check.
Got a book deal? Spoken at Capitol Hill? Check and check.
I do these things not because I am some kind of crazed egotist, hoarding accomplishments like shiny statues for my shelves, but for a much more embarrassing reason.
I feel like I need them to prove I’m a good mom. Read the rest of my post at The Happiest Mom!
I very much feel the same way, or I did. See I don’t have a college education. (Well two semesters) I got married while pregnant. I stopped working at 7 months. We were not on government help, we did it ourselves. By ourselves, I mean credit cards, which we are still working on paying off. I never had a ‘real grown up job’ and never wanted one. I homeschool my kids, and I foster. So I have five right now at 31, my oldest is almost 11. I get looks to this day for having too many. Oh, and the foster kids, yeah, they have WIC and Medicaid, so I get dirty looks for that all the time. “Five kids and she’s on WIC” But as I’ve aged, as I’ve said YES to what God has asked me to do. I notice the looks less and less and they mean less and less. I may not be society’s image of a all-together mother. I did some things out of order, but I’ve been happily married for 11.5 years and we have three beautiful children and are adopting two more. So in my head I yell a big “SO WHAT!” at society and those looks.
Oh, Andrea, thank you for that comment. You are doing such a valuable job, thank you! And thank you for saying “So What?” Love it!
Chaunie, I am totally blushing right now! Thank you for the very flattering shout-out - I just loved your guest post.
Thanks Meagan! 🙂
Aw momma! This is good. I loved “I’ve been running in a self-defeating circle” — I know that I have been there! I’ve been a momma for almost 3 years now and am JUST feeling comfortable in this PROFESSION. It has such a stigma - which is why I think we try to validate ourselves. It IS a lot of hardwork and sacrifice… even if we don’t put on a dress suit and sit in an office suite all day long! The world can’t go on without us!!! They NEED us to mother the next generation!!! “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world!” - William Ross Wallace. AMEN! I affirm you in your vocation as a dresser-upper, raspberry-blowing, comfy clothes-wearing MOTHER!!! XO
Thanks Brittany! I need some of that infectious joy in my life! 🙂
Pregnancy, whether planned or not, yields major life changes for women. While a new baby can bring tremendous joy, they also bring stress, as young children require a lot of care. This stress is often felt most among women who experienced a surprise pregnancy and do not have a stable romantic partner, as all the responsibilities of parenthood, as well as those of a primary breadwinner, fall squarely on their shoulders. As a result, many single moms of unplanned pregnancies give up on their personal aspirations, including career goals, to fully take on the immense responsibilities that comes with having a newborn.
With that said, ladies, it is important to consider your desire to have a baby at the present moment, as well as your ability to care for a child based on your emotional well-being and your support system (both partners and financial resources) when you choose to have sex. If you’re not ready to take on such a tremendous responsibility, it is recommended that you utilize protection, so that you can continue caring for yourself in the fullest capacity. In doing so, when and if you decide to assume the role of a mother, you are in a good place to do so, bringing less stress and more joy!