By now, you may have heard of my horrendously embarrassing segment on Good Morning America.
(And if you haven’t, it went something like this: Babble was looking for a mother willing to talk about the issue of rekindling the romance after having a baby, they asked me, and of course, I couldn’t exactly turn that down, so I said yes.)
Unfortunately, I’m not going to link to the segment because I look like a pregnant Shamu–oh wait–and my poor husband has been embarrassed enough by his wife talking about their bedroom life enough on national TV.
But what struck me while doing the interview was in my small talk with the producer before she launched into the tough questions. She asked me what my life was like, working at home with three young kids and when I answered, she pressed me again.
“No, no, no,” she said. “You are making it sound too easy. Tell me how hard it is to be home with them…”
And while of course, I am not one to shy away from the tough parts of motherhood–the days (yesterday) that I feel like crying because my son is literally clinging to my leg and whining, the afternoons (today) that seem to stretch on endlessly and I feel so guilty for working instead of teaching my daughter her ABC’s, the nights that I dread the sound of a little person waking up–her words made me realize something what is most important to me:
I want to learn to be grateful for motherhood and my life instead of constantly dwelling on the negative parts of it.
I could focus on how hard it all is and how I much I am kind of sort of not enjoying this pregnancy at all, but honestly, because I am perhaps the world’s most selfish person, it’s important to me to focus on the gratitude. Because if I didn’t focus on the good parts, it may just be all too easy to slip into a dark place, a place where I’m resentful and unhappy and missing the moments that make my life my life.
And the truth is, when I really think about it, I love my life.
I love where I’m at in my life.
I love that after six years of working as a nurse, I am able to support us financially doing what I love all while working around my kids.
I am grateful every day for this work, for healthy children, for the ability to never miss a moment with them.
And I’m also grateful for the moments that got me here–the night shifts, the times I ducked away into the bathroom at the hospital to cry, the phone calls I held back tears while my kids said good-night to me.
It’s a journey and it’s not always easy, but every moment of motherhood has brought me one step closer to living my dreams.
So, really, what’s there to complain about?