The Beautiful Ache of Motherhood

So today is my birthday and I kicked off things with pretty much being the worst mother in the world. 

I woke up late, heard Ada downstairs, realized she hadn’t gotten dressed or brushed her teeth and that we had 10 minutes to get to school, so of course, I did the logical thing and yelled at her over the stair railing to get her buns in motion.

She didn’t respond, 5 more minutes passed, so I hauled down the stairs in a rage and dragged her upstairs, scolding her the entire time. “Ada! You know the rules–you’re supposed to get dressed before you watch TV!!”

And that’s when I noticed her look silently down at her hands. 

And that’s when I noticed the crayon-filled card she was holding.

And that’s when I felt my heart break into two and wished I could rewind time. 

Motherhood is full of beautiful, breathtaking moments–but it’s also full of pain. 

If there is one thing I have learned over the past six years as a mother, it is this:

Motherhood is exquisitely, breathtakingly beautiful.

But it is also overwhelmingly painful.

My heart opened up in ways that I never thought possible the moment that I first laid eyes on my daughter, a squalling bundle of baby limbs on my chest that caused my breath to catch in a way that feels like it will never fully recover. I remember thinking, “Oh, it’s you!” because I felt instinctively that she was someone my heart had always known and would always recognize.

So while becoming a mother has literally transformed my life with its love, it has also brought an unexpected ache. 

Do me a birthday favor? Read the rest over at Disney Baby today and celebrate Mother’s Day with the beautiful ache of motherhood every day. 

Tiny Blue Lines

Tiny Blue Lines

Owner + Writer
Hi, I'm Chaunie, a young mom, labor and delivery nurse turned writer, and advocate for women facing unexpected pregnancy. I'm mom to two little girls, one little man, and I'm expecting my fourth baby late this summer. (Wish me luck, please!) Oh, and I wrote the book on young motherhood. No, really. Check it out here. And if you've experienced an unexpected pregnancy or are a young mom, I'd love to hear your story--email me at info@tinybluelines.com.
Tiny Blue Lines
Tiny Blue Lines

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Comments

  1. Oh my heart breaks for you. I have had those moments where I am short with my kids when they are trying to be sweet. It seems like no amount of “sorrys” or hugs and kisses can fix it. But I have found kids to be super-resilient and they don’t remember things the same way we do. Don’t be too hard on yourself mama. Happy birthday!

    • I know! :( I won’t lie–I cried all morning about it, but she honestly didn’t even remember it happened. Still, why?! Sigh. Just a lesson for next time, I guess.

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